Septembre Arte

September.

Out of all the months in my life September always offers something good and something bad. Every year it has its intoxicating high, and it's diabolical low. The best things to happen in September in recent years include, Steady, Chantell, and CJ's birthdays every year. I love these people and always make sure I go out of my way to wish them a special day, and give them some words of wisdom. The most important of all the September highs are a) My uncle Duck got married in this month 2 years ago, and b) I started my physical in person relationship with Heather.

I love my girlfriend, I really do, and would give the world for her, she has my heart and I'm her armor. Tied in to the highs are usually lows. A few big ones are: Broke up with my then girlfriend Chantell of 4 years, it hurt but time heals all wounds and in hindsight it was probably the best thing for both of us. So its not really a bad thing I guess. This month though...

Kitten has been gone for the duration of the month. I missed CJ's birthday due to my Lil trip to Ontario (Told below this entry) Chantell's birthday is also conveniently the same day as me and Kitten's anniversary, which we were apart for. That hurt like hell, but that's life. I took it like a man, and have no quarrels with the hands that fate deals me. I made an email for Steady's birthday (a day late) other than that.

I miss my girlfriend more than I can remember missing anyone. She's getting sicker, I'm getting worried. She's always tired and in pain. I want to take it all in and away from her. I would suffer to take it from her body into mine. Physical pain is nothing when compared to the mental scars that can occur in the name of love. This woman is on the same plateau as my mother. One gave me life, and the other gives me a reason to live that life.

When she cries, my seasoned, battle hardened heart breaks. When people cause her pain, I want to use all my strength to smash through them, and destroy them without the understanding. When she's happy and laughing, I always hope I'm the reason she feels that way, and to make her feel good in any and every way is my greatest point of pride. I truly believe she is beautiful in every way. Super intelligent, understands me better than most, deep. My perfect companion, she is everything I'm not but wish I was. Inner strength? No one even compares to this woman.

No one.

Since she is not with me in a physical sense, I have noticed how empty my free time really is, so instead of sitting here and wallowing in self pity, I do what I always do when I'm alone and feeling full of sorrow.

Art.

My guitar and pencils have come to life in ways I haven't seen since I was in high school. My solo project still has life in it, and I'm feeling it in a new way. Direction, passion, a reason to sing and play strings without thinking. True divine artistic presence. Millions of visuals, few drawn. Poetry spoken from the tongue of a heretic, but written like it was words of a god. I'm slowly combining all these mediums into one collaboration named, Black Orpheus

MMA is on the back burner. I still train and take my health and body very seriously, but I have let my mind wander and become dull, and for that I beg for its forgiveness, and ask it to open its doors to the chambers of my artistic visions that were locked away. There was a time when I thought the wonderful woman I love was the death of the artist in me. Now I see through much pain and torment, that she comforts the artist in me, and is inspiration.

The reason I'm the best version of me, is not only because I'm mentally sharp and my will is strong. Its because she is my support. She makes me want to be that man way up there on the plateau higher than the rest, better than the rest. I strive to attain that place everyday. I need to learn to cater to all of my callings in life, be it fighting, art, music, video games, or love. Balance is the key to a healthy life. To let one take over the other is to lose sense of yourself. September, I'm happy to see you leave again for the year, although it was a miserable month. It also restored me to the man I was once, and to the potential man I will become in the future.

September.

Heart Over Mind

What a tale my life will serve after I'm dead.

Lately in the last month, nothing good has happened for me, the love of my life went back to the place she hates the most, to help her family move on and accomplish some much needed separation. In the course of the visit, things didn't work out the way they would if we were in a movie, although the drama is about the same level. After much unneeded bullshit, it ended up being a waste of my money, and a waste of her time.
She was all ready to come home, and leave the ordeal behind her, when fate, much like it does, had a change of heart in the matter, and some tragedy struck on such an epic level, I won't even mention it here or anywhere else for that matter. ONE DAY away from being reunited and resuming our much loved quiet life out here. I suppose that's life.

Days turned into weeks, and no contact from her, due to her dedication to the situation, admirable, yet made me uneasy not talking for a week at a time. After a week of not sleeping and not eating (I lost 20 pounds) I decided to ask come close friends that live in the region for help. My efforts were wasted however, since no one replied before I took matters into my own hand.
Using the Internet, I was able to track my bank statements, and draw up a map of the city she was in, knowing what I did know, I loaded up mapquest, and did somewhat 4 hours of research about my best options on where she could be. So I made notes on the information, notified work, got on the bus and ventured 35+ hours East to her hometown. Had never been there before it was all up to me and my abilities.

This marked not only my dedication to another human that was unprecedented, but the FIRST time in my 23 years of life, that I used my heart to make a decision and not my mind. Which in hindsight, was a poor choice. On paper it didnt look good. I was going to a place Ive never been before, to find someone that I had no idea where she was, in a hostile enviroment, with no place to stay overnight. Yet my heart yearned me to press forward in this matter.

So off I went. My venture east starts in Brandon MB. My friend Beaver drove me to Brandon, I left at 7pm on a Sunday.

Brandon, MB: 7:20pm---->Winnipeg MB: 9:45pm
Sat next to a pretty cool guy, he was about my age, and is from Thompson MB (About 8 hours north of Winnipeg) Was working as a carpenter in Brandon for a month while he was visiting him girlfriend. We exchanged job info. He knew alot about the cities in the East, so I asked him all I could think of that would help me. Most of the trip was spent in our respective music players though. At the terminal in Winnipeg, we hung out a bit, then when his bus was ready we shook hands, stated our names, and went our separate ways.

Winnipeg, MB: 10:15pm---> Kenora, ON:12:35am (Monday)
I got on the bus that was headed for Toronto, Sat behind some guy who will come into play a lil later on, to my dissapointment a really husky guy about my age asked if he could sit next to me 'If you have to' is all I replied. This guy was broad, tan skinned, but actually quite an intelligent and gentle person. Wasting no time on introductions he stated his name before asking for mine, which is the right way of doing things. Maki was his name, I replied with 'Jay' he asked where I was going, and was amazed at how far I would be traveling. He asked who the girl was as I was looking at pictures of Kitten in whatever light the moon produced. I told him a lil bit of my situation, and he listened, and even gave quite the philosophical points on my situation, and even life in general. Quite the deep person, with ideals I had never heard before, but might adopt someday. His stop was Kenora, which was favourable, since it was crammed between the two of us. For the rest of the night I tried to get as much sleep as I can, which isnt as easy as it used to be for me...

Kenora, ON: 12:50am (Monday)---->Thunder Bay, ON: 7:55am
Thunder Bay, ON: 8:55am--->Schreiber, ON: 11:25am
Schreiber, ON: 11:40am-->Sault Ste.Marie, ON: 6:50pm
Sault Ste.Marie, ON: 7:30pm-->Sudbury, ON: 11:50pm
Sudbury, ON:12:50am (Tuesday)---> Toronto, ON: 5:50am

Arrived in Thunder Bay, lots of rocky terrain, lots of water. Quite beautiful. In the Bay I had a 1 hour layover. This time more people got on, and it seemed like I would have another person to talk to *sigh* The guy I sat behind from Winnipeg to Thunder Bay ended up sitting beside me. Again about my age. I ended up sitting next to him for about the rest of my trip. He seemed nice, and was coming from Calgary, going back to Oshawa. Other than that, he read the bible alot, but after some extensive conversation, it was an odd fit. I spent most of the time in my headphones and only played my DS for about an hour. ALSO lil side note? Some TERRIBLE mother and her 3 kids sat next to us for like the whole trip as well. She let these tiny kids take about 3-4 sections at a time, so about 6-8 seats, as the entire bus is having to double up for the most part, these tiny kids, are taking the entire section? What a bitch. She always left them alone on the bus as she went to smoke, or eat, or whatever the fuck she was doing, the bus driver finally called her on it, and made her look like an ass. Loud, annoying, and making it so Im crammed. Didnt do much for my mood. Didnt eat much, and I only got a a double seat at Sudbury to Toronto. So yeah a whole 5 hours to try and sleep.

Toronto, ON:6:15am---->Hamilton, ON: 7:40am Tuesday

I arrived in the rainy streets of Toronto, was quite cold and could see my breath, so I went into the terminal to warm up. Not quite. The terminal at 5am was colder than in the rain outside. and Since it didn't offer any services, I checked the 2 times to leave to Hamilton, one was at 6:15 one was at 8:30, I opted for the earlier one, since sitting in that cold terminal didn't appeal to me, and Ive been on this bus for so long, I just wanted to get to Hamilton and see my girlfriend. I closed my eyes on the bus and must've dozed off, cause when I came to, the bus driver was speaking into the intercom 'Hamilton, Last call for Hamilton' I immediately jumped up and grabbed my bag and ran off the bus, last thing I need is to end up in London, ON.

Lil bit disoriented, I ran in the terminal and asked the lady if this was indeed Hamilton, and not some part of Toronto with the same name, (Since we had stopped at Yorkdale terminal before departing) I was there. Hamilton Ontario. Finally.

Time to get to work.

I pulled my datasheet out of my pack pocket, and walked out the front doors, located a taxi driver, and told him to take me to Henderson General Hospital which I had thought was the one due to my reconnaissance work on the Internet . I guess the Islamic fellow misheard me and took me to Hamilton General Hospital which I had no idea until asking for someone in the hospital. The desk lady checked records, checked the last name, and even checked other hospitals databases with no luck. I thanked her for her help, she gave me a list of addresses and phone numbers that matched my own except for a few ones I missed.
I headed out the door hoping for my taxi to be there, but there was a new one, and the man was quite rude at first. told me that if I didn't call for the taxi, he shouldn't be taking me, after flashing about $800 in cash, he was happy to oblige. He too was Islamic or Muslim with a heavy accent. I could make it out though. I told him to take me to...and I started doing one place at a time, each place I went? No one heard of the name, and forwarded me to another place. After about the 2nd stop the taxi driver asked me about my mission, I told him scarce details, like to mind his business and just keep taking me places. Eventually he got it out of me, and after that, he was cutting me deals on fare, and was following me into the places, I guess he was genuinely concerned for me, he gave me his cell phone number and told me, if I needed anything to call him, and he would help. I thanked him, and continued my mission, 7 stops later. No luck. After about $150 on taxi fare, I was out of ideas.
Jas (the driver) suggested I go to the police station, and see if they could find her. I refused though. I had him take me back to the bus depot, and said my farewell.

Now what? I thought. Do I wander around the city for 3 days and 2 nights, hoping SOMEONE recognizes me? that could be bad since I know some nemesis like people knew I was coming. I decided I had to cut my loss, and go back home...after a few hours of being there, I seemed to give up, and that hurt me inside, that I would go all that way, and end up giving in so easily.
I had about 40 mins before the bus back to Toronto. I decided to stock up on supplies maybe find some food. I walked around the streets. Nice place. The taxi tour was enlightening as well. During my 20 minute walk I accomplished 2 things: a) I got offered a job working with steel at a damn good wage for starting. I took the guys info, and gave him my name (In case moving was an option) and b) I beat up a bum. He pestered me for money, told him I had none, and put my head in my MP3 player, a block or so passed, and I could hear someone yelling between songs. I looked back and the bum was following me, and talking some nonsense, like he knew I had money, he could hear change in my pocket, and that I didn't know what a hard life was...

My eyes went dark.

In my head, the past month of pain, worry, malnourishment, and paranoia flash backed, how hard was my life? not as bad as his probably. But I just spent 35+ hours on a bus and had failed in the point I came here. I proceeded to tell the bum he doesn't know who he was trying to get money from, and if I could spare some after I go eat Ill give him some. I guess he thought to just rob me.
He grabbed at my arm, and in that one brief moment, I let the darkness out of my heart and mind, and gripped the back of his head and neck, smiled, and layed a knee so hard into the bottom of his ribs, he crumpled to the sidewalk and didn't move. Amazed I still had the strength and precision striking that won me my first Muay Thai championship half a decade ago, especially after not eating or training for about 2 weeks prior. I felt light headed so I left the poor beggar where he lie, and went to find food. Nothing.

Dismayed I went back to the bus station got on the bus 3 days ahead of what my ticket said(no one questioned it), and took my leave of Eastern Canada. The trip back was uneventful, sat next to a quiet girl, and for the last half a stinky old man, who was always scratching at something under his shirt. Very disgusting, and I got him at 2 transfers. Depressed and full of questions, I just looked at the hills, lakes, moon, and sunrise.

Turns out I called the leave time wrong since I arrived into Winnipeg at about 10pm, and tried to phone Beaver from Winnipeg to come get me in Brandon at 2am, no such luck...My ticket only went to Brandon, and the station wasn't open at 2am to buy a ticket to Regina...I quickly called Beaver on the 10 minute layover when I had arrived in Brandon. He had no gas, so he couldn't come get me. So what does someone like me with thief-like abilities and moral do? Sneak back on the bus back to my seat, throw my hat low, and look like I was sleeping. Luckily the bus driver had lots of work to do at the Brandon station and was late getting back on the bus. He didn't bother counting heads at 2am. I got my free ride to Regina..got in at 6am, and waited in the terminal until Beaver came and got me at 11:30am, we hung in Regina, bought some stuff at the mall, got stoned on the way home, and told him this long tale.

Turns out the person I was looking for got moved during my long venture out to Eastern Canada. All a waste I guess.
Eastern Canada is too big as well.
Moral of this story? Listening to my heart isn't my style. I love my friends and family, but I help them and myself with my mind not my heart.

Winds of Change

I did my time, and I want out.

For 2 years I have been working in the oilfield. I've made considerable money, but I've put in more time than anyone else I know. So if you balance the time I spend at work, and the money I get paid? I'm dangerously underpaid especially compared to my Albertan counterparts.
As of right now, I work 80 hours a week on average, sometimes less, sometimes more. I work at a different time everyday, from 3:30am to whenever I get done. At the end of 2 weeks I average $1700-$2000 area. Pretty good I suppose, but I make about $16/hr after 2 years. In Alberta starting wage for my job is $25/hr. So yeah underpaid.

If some random kid out of high school, no education, no experience in the workforce, applies on a drilling rig. They will hire him and pay him $25/hr plus $150 a day to show up. That's it. Non-taxable easy $150 per day just to show up. My friend Din recently made the transition from my job to drilling rigs, and said He works less, his work is easier physically. and he easily doubles my paycheque. I feel like I'm being fucked here.

I think its time for a change. As soon as my SUV gets fixed (It went in like 2 hours ago to get the transmission redone...again) I'm thinking of working rigs. Shift works sucks, but at least I can get out of this industry faster with more money. Also I can make my rig fucking hell for my previous employer, and don't think I wont.

In 2 years, Ive suffered with next to no time off, watched as my friends and family got fucked around by this company. Working ungodly amount of hours (which is illegal by the way) and get no appreciation. Ive even almost died more than a handful of times, due to other people's mistakes, Ive stitched guys up on location, saved noobs from 8 tonnes of steel falling on them, and put up with shit that would boggle your mind.


The owner of the company is easily worth over a billion, Tony Day. Me alone I make him about $500/day, so take off some holidays, I make him about $180,000/yr, I gross about $35,000-$40,000/yr, so I'm getting fucked here. Clearly, If I got half of what I made him, you wouldn't be reading this right now. But I'm not.

I hate my job, and the asshole who owns the company, his son runs the shit, and is making me get extremely irate lately. I'm ready to quit. I just may.

Here is a picture of a huge ass bed truck and about half of my company.

Death is Common

I have a Mohawk.

Trendy vintage punk hair styles aside, this week has been one for the record books at work, for shitty happenstances occurring in a row, I even had 2 days off, although the one I don't know why. Lots of breaking down in numerous trucks, I almost killed my swamper because he pisses me off, I almost died twice in the same day, and found out my SUV is going to cost me roughly in the $1700 area. So that is peachy fucking keen. Gets fixed this week, so there go a chunk of my savings.

Positive note? my Boxing and Muay Thai are steadily getting better. Estevan may be opening a MMA camp, so that would be stellar so I can up my training without having to travel too far. If I get nothing else out of it, at least I'm getting in shape. Even though I have a tan outline of where my work shirt is, so that's unattractive, but I blame the sun for scarring my moderately attractive body. Hate that cunt...

Lately Ive been catching up on alot of my Video gaming, and there is one thing I have noticed. Guitar Hero should not be played on the DS. The hand/wrist cramps are immense and the strumming on the touch screen makes me bitch songs alot more than if I was playing them on the Guitar peripheral.
Also Im not as bad as I thought I was at FPS' namely Medal of Honor: Heroes 2 I beat the first mission on the hardest difficulty with hardly a scratch, so all those hours of Counter Strike with Graydon were going somewhere.

My dogs are like bad kids, they get into shit, they do things they normally don't do, when they are around each other. One pissed on my coveralls, they both ripped apart the bag of cat food this morning when I was at work. Akuma gets into the trash can sometimes. Nemesis can't be alone without Akuma, hell he can't even piss without Akuma. I hope he grows out of his dependacy on Akuma.

Also my friend Mike woke from his coma, he got hit by a drunk driver last week and he was in a coma, so thank whatever higher powers are out there, that he is awake and stable. He is one of the few friends of Kitten that I actually trust, respect, and actually like. So good news there.

Other than that not much to report. I'm hungry, I think A&M is calling my name.
Ill post pics of my Mohawk, and dogs as soon as my camera stops being bitched.

When Sweat Mixes With Blood

I hate summer. I really do. There is nothing about summer I particularly couldn't live without.
The heat? Hate it.
The bugs? Hate them.
The energy sapping sunshine? Fuck that bright cunt.

After mother nature opened her legs and pissed on us for about 4 days I had a few days off this past weekend.
My parents decided to visit my uncle Duck. It was a basic visit with basic conversation about the same shit. Which suits me fine, since I don't really give a fuck about back home. Now if Duck would shut the fuck up about me going to work on Service rigs, Id be set. I don't want to take a job that only pays 3 dollars more than mine, but is like 5 times the labour.

King Slave was in town this weekend, I missed him, but Ill see him again sometime in summer. If you haven't heard his rap music you really should, he's really an intelligent guy, even though he raps about politics, super heroes and living in Saskatchewan, its really solid music.

Also that old lady across the street is one more mean look away from a Thai clinch and a broken jaw.
Her fucking dogs (one is a shiz tzu, and the other is a beagle) bark consistently without losing their voices for what seems like days on end. Then my puppy Nemesis barked once for no reason other than my Husky Akuma bit him, and she comes running across the street and gives my dog shit for barking? GIVE HER THE BROKEN FACE!!

Other than that me and G are the joint internet Uno champions. Work is gay, and my SUV is still needing service, although I finally changed the oil (It was 20,000km overdue)
Ill see how the rest of this week turns out, even though the weather looks a lil bit too warm for my liking...Cant wait for winter.

Fuck Summer

Acheivements of an Otaku

I'm not going to lie to myself, I'm a nerd. Video games are as much as a part of me as ink is a part of my skin. My first game console was the legendary NES I got it when I was 3 but I was playing computer games on my DOS operating system even before that. When I was a kid, I entered video games competitions to showcase my skills, and alot of my friends and peers knew me as the guy to beat, (maybe not CJ, but that's for a good reason) my first competition was a Mario 3 one in Mackenzie.
I love video games so much. Although for a few years (2004-2007 area) besides the dozens of games for my Gamecube, and a handful for my Gameboy Advance, I hadn't really immersed myself in the culture and the news of the phenom that is video games.

3 years spent on other things like tattooing and MMA

But ever since the Wii came out, and my friend Din MADE me buy one, I haven't had as much fun with a game system since the N64 (1996 release) Then I proceeded to buy a Nintendo DS Lite, which in my opinion, might be the best game console EVER, based on the range of games. Ive dove head first back into the gaming industry. In under a year I have obtained 18 games for my Wii and I have finished all but 2 of them. (Okami and Medal of Honor 2 for those of you who are curious) Also I have just finished Final Fantasy III for the DS after it had been sitting on my shelve for about a year. I now own 7 DS titles, and am looking to buy at least 2 more this month.

RPGs and Fighting games are my favourite, but I seem to do well in any genre of game.

Video games are a big part of my life, and my friends' lives and I can honestly say without them I would be a worse version of myself today. They kept me out of shit with the cops, and helped me develop some really deep bonds with my friends. Board games just cant do that for me (Unless its D&D but Ill get into THAT topic some other day) Even my girlfriend has started playing games with me, and she has been owning me at Smash Brother Brawl far more than an average noob should O.o

Sorry for the game rant, but like I said Nerd.
(Be thankful I didn't list off all the consoles and games Ive ever owned, and gave reviews on em all ;)

Good TImes

Sometimes in rare happenstances, things go good for you in life. Although a majority of the time, life makes you its bitch. My current status is the latter. Allow me to explain.

Yesterday it rained 2 inches, I had to move a rig, with a truck push (foreman) who has nothing short of the brain power of a retarded infant. So that was fun, 6 degrees, rain, and 30mph wind.
But hey that's work right? Fine fair enough, lets move on shall we?

My girlfriend's laptop got hacked or something so she cant login into her OS (Vista) we know her password, its a universal password for all of our stuff, and suddenly it stops working? We consulted a tech person I know (Thanks by the way Ash) and she said basically how things worked out, I'm like a passed out freshman in a fraternity. I'm fucked. So one of my computers don't work, so what right? Fine fair enough, lets move on shall we?

Today I show up to work early and ready as usual with my dirty ass work clothes on, and wouldn't you know it? They 'forgot' to tell me I was canceled...again. Day off I suppose.
On the way home however, my SUV's 4WD totally gave me its two weeks notice, and fucked off on me, so now I got to find a mechanic, and fix my 4WD or it will die on me. This will cost somewhere in the thousands to fix. Not to mention the autobody shops are so busy it will be weeks before I can even get it in, all the while I live 2 miles away from my work. Looks like I get more exercise.

Sometimes in rare happenstances, things go good for you in life. Although a majority of the time, life makes you its bitch. My current status is the latter.

Hoo-ray for the latter.

Rainy Days

Another rainy day so my work got canceled, for those of you who don't know, I move oil rigs in southeastern Saskatchewan, and when it rains its hard to move hundreds of tonnes of steel out of muddy conditions, so I got up today early, only to get canceled as I walked out the door at 5am.

So I went back inside and figured Ill jump on the Wii Fit for those of you who dont know what that is, check this out.

Went to Wal-Mart in Estevan today to check out any DS titles I might want. I have to admit, had the customer service been better, I might've bought Star Fox Command, or Rune Factory. I swear everytime me and Kitten go there, this bitchy chick just avoids us, and we ALWAYS buy something, so its not like we go there to browse and piss her off. I think it all started when CJ found the copy of Saw 4 she hid from the customers so she could buy it, and he bought it instead for me.

So I bought Meet the Spartans figured it might be half assed funny. I actually think the movie 300 was excellant, but parodies dont bother me like some fanboys out there.
Also lil side note? Attention city of Estevan: Get more places to eat that arn't fast food, Im on a diet for MMA, and KFC made me feel like complete shit. Also what type of city sets up a detour into a fucking construction zone? Please correct this at your earliest convience.

Other than that I dont really have much else to say. Might go play some Counter Strike against Poison Hemlock aka G-man.

I swear Ill have much more interesting things to say, and less summaries of my day in the future. Just didnt know what to write about today.

Also my new puppy Nemesis? Fuck that guy.

Let Madness Ensue

New Blog starting...well you're reading this so...NOW!
Me and Poison Hemlock are on the blogging scene again. Will it be interesting? Will it be enlightening?
Probably not.

Check out me
or Poison Hemlock at http://poisonhemlock.blogspot.com/