Currently listening to: Crown the Empire - The Fallout Album
Currently playing: Black Ops 2, Assassin's Creed 3, Tekken Tag Tournament 2, Epic Mickey 2
Numerous years ago, I met
someone. Someone that I never thought would have an impact on my life.
When I met him, I didn't think too much of him, he was kinda weird, not
like the others like him Ive interacted with for most of my life. He was
obedient and not rebellious like the others. Even though with his
larger than average physique and intimidating presence he could easily
have had his way in most situations.
Not exactly full of pride, and
usually cowered when confronted, he was kinda pathetic in his own way. I
suppose I could see the minor appeal in him, but for the most part, he
seemed like a lot of work for little payoff, but the fates crossed our
paths and I don't test the fate's wisdom, so I took him with me and let
him into my life. Also seeing as this was his last chance at existing I
was obliged to let him have his chance to leave his mark in this world.
The first night he was in my home
he cried all night, needed constant reassurance, and basically I broke
down and just let him sleep with me in my room. Took him a few weeks to
adjust to his new life, our new life. As time went on, he met plenty of
people who grew to love him and accept him for how he was. No one ever
judged him and he got plenty of support and affection from friends and
family. Slowly but surely the confidence and pride was surfacing.
Years went by, his health
balanced between good and moderate, happy-go-lucky and always smiling
and enjoying his new carefree life, everything was taken care of for
him. I provided anything he could want, and in turn I grew to love him
and got attached to him. After awhile he developed a habit to wander off
by himself and explore the area around him, curiosity gets the better
of any man after awhile. I never worried about this habit, because he
always came home and besides being a bit tired, nothing bad ever
happened.
One
day he did go for a walk, he never came back on his own merit. Unusual
for him to miss dinner, I decided to look for him. I found him a few
blocks away in an alley, bleeding, unable to walk, and cuts all over his
face and one near his eye. The icy blue eye was now stained crimson. He
cried and looked at me with desperation. My heart broke. I picked him
up and carried him across town, he wasn't light, but I wasn't gonna stop
for anything. Brought him home and let him heal the wounds, every time
he tried to stand up on his own strength he screamed in pain, it was
hard to watch, but there was nothing I could do but watch.
He healed eventually, but he was
never the same. I don't know what happened to him, but it had to be
traumatizing to him. Not what he came to Canada for.
Years later I tried to find him a
friend or partner he could share his life with and grow to love. His
first friend was taken away from him just as quickly as it was given. I
felt really bad, but it couldn't be helped. It was what it was. Year or
two later another friend was found, she was a weird chick, but something
all good men need is a weird girl to balance them out. However
throughout the years his health has declined from the accident and his
lazy lifestyle made him gain some weight. His eyes changed from icy
blue, to bright painful crimson red, to hollow, dead, onyx black. She
never cared, but he was unable to really keep up with his younger and
more physically fit friend. One day while spending the day with him, I
noticed a weird growth/pressure on his chest.
The doctor finally got the call
to look at it. Its possibly a tumor, either fatty or cancerous. The news
hit me hard and I became depressed as I feel responsible for his
decline in health. I wasn't there for him enough and I let him down. He
requires surgery and Ive been working as much as I can to pay for any
medical bills that comes his way. Its my obligation and my
responsibility to take care of him and provide for him. I fear that even
if the surgery is a success, he might lose a piece of who he is.
Since Ive known him he has never
picked a fight with me, he has never been mean to me, and he has never
talked back to me over anything. He doesn't always listen to me, but
that's not unusual for someone like him.
Ive
only seen him get mad once, and the dead hollow look in his eyes showed
me that their is hidden anger and pain from years before our meeting. I
noticed loud, gun-like noises will make him stressed out and tense. I
don't know how many years he endured his old life before I met him, or
why someone abandoned him and left him to die, but those things don't
matter to me anymore.
Ive cried with him, I've opened
up to him, I've endured hard years with him, and at one point in my life
he was all I had, and the only thing that kept me going day to day. I
refuse to lose him before his time is done in this world, and if I have
to endure countless hours of my life to him and go broke to help him I
will. This is my resolve, he's more then just a friend to me, more than
just family. He's a part of me. He's a kindred spirit, and a soul mate.
He is Akuma Blue, my faithful and loyal companion, he is not just a mere dog to me. He is the other half of me.
Thursday, February 21, 2013
Sunday, December 16, 2012
The Year After the End of the World
Currently listening to: Artemis Redeemer, and Lots of Dubstep
Currently playing: Darksiders II, Black Ops 2, Tekken Tag 2, NSMBU
I'll admit I'm really bad at updating this thing, but to be fair its going to be one of my New Year's resolutions, not only updating this and another blog but I have lots of resolutions that pretty much will re-shape my life for the better. Main top ones, are take exercise and training seriously (hence the other blog) and my diet and over all lifestyle.
For example, Ive been gaming my ass off for almost a year straight in preparation for the Wii U launch back in November, so now that the Wii U has only a moderate catalogue of games, Ive found that Ill have more time to do things that arn't so game heavy oriented.
Things like music, exercise and working on my personal life. I intend to work out 4-7 times a week, including weights, bag work, elevation training, cardio and yoga. It sounds like alot, but I have it worked out so its not so strenuous on the body and mind. I intend to get in wicked shape with the Dolce Diet and use my elevation training mask to get the most out of my workouts. So with my exercise and diet plans Ill be in good shape right? Right. I'm doing it mostly for my girlfriend and to remind myself that at one time I had dedication to things like training instead of flopping on the couch turning on the Wii and eating a bag of chips and ripping Rockstars like it was water to a man in the desert.
Another perk to the diet program is that it requires cooking, so Ill be forced to go back cooking and not finding the easy way out of eating like fried chicken or hamburgers in town. So that will be my test of true dedication. As a Buddhist Ive realized I have terrible self control and seem to want things more than I need things. I haven't freed myself from want and desire lately, and I need to remind myself the true path of enlightenment is with truth, compassion, love and self control.
Which is the next point. My relationship with people has whittled to the point they are just FB names, or people I work with. Even my girlfriend has felt like a roommate or a business partner more than a loved one and that isn't right. So I will be putting in much, much, more effort this year and all years to come in that area in my personal life. Balancing my clan friendships and my home life can be tricky, but I wish to pursue both sides of it, and hope to find a happy medium.
Headshot the Hero WILL have an album out in 2013 even if I gotta cram it out in the last week in December. My co-writer Luke Knight has been patient and supportive more than anyone ever could be, and I thank him and love him for being there for me whenever I need him, even if he has his opinion on the supposed 'band'. I believe it will have some super great tracks and be an achievement in my dedication to music.
To sum it all up, I gotta start showing dedication to my trades, I need to sharpen the mind, strengthen the body, and hone the craft of music. I need to give myself to loved ones, and continue to walk the path of Buddha and remember that God has his plans for me. Some people have only need of one god. I have need of two. I need to continue my gaming and showcase the Mindesyn brand, but remember that I should be focusing on training, diet, and love more than prestiging in Call of Duty.
Friday, October 12, 2012
Routine Living
Currently listening to: Madchild - Dope Sick Album
Currently playing: Skyward Sword, Monster Hunter Tri, Metroid Prime 3, Kingdom Hearts 358/2 Days
It's been a few months since my last post so I figured I would update on my life and what I'm up to nowadays.
Last few weeks have been hectic and have had me all over the province. Two weeks ago was Alison's sister's wedding in Regina so I attended that it was a pretty good time, had its downs, but it had its good parts too. She caught the bouquet so I guess I'm next. Then a week after that me and Alison celebrated our 2 year anniversary in Temple Gardens Spa in Moose Jaw, pretty pricey, but it was a good experience nonetheless. She seems alot happier since coming home from the spa.
I went pretty hard on the gaming lifestyle the last few months. I'm trying to finish my Wii and DS titles so I can move onto the Wii U and 3DS in November. I'm down to roughly 10 games for the Wii so Ive slowed down and been focusing on other parts of my interests such as music namely Headshot the Hero. Oh! and NoneLikeJoshua sent me an autographed poster of him and a wristband, so that was pretty chill of him. Check out his rap and dubstep projects on YouTube, he's pretty sick. Ive been spending more time in the studio since its cooled down up here and been back working on HTH material. One day Ill have something to show.
Work has been pretty moderate still. If I make 40 hours a week I'm pretty content its not amazing money anymore, but its better then most. Leaves me with alot of free time tho. So if I'm not in the mood to game. I tend to sit on Facebook, Twitter, and GameFAQs. I'm going to start working out again and focus on kickboxing training again. Its good for my health and me and Alison have a possible project for the future that Id like to be in shape for. So Ill keep updates on that in the future.
Not alot of things going on lately besides work and gaming. My clan Lost Cause has moved onto PC gaming and am currently on the Steam scene with games like Counter Strike: Global Offensive, Left4Dead, and Team Fortress 2. I ended up buying a new gaming mouse, keyboard and headset for it, and they all glow blue LED which is pretty sweet.
Been getting back in touch with Buddhism and meditation as well, since Ive been a tad on edge and kinda short tempered with friends and loved ones. Gotta make changes when you gotta. Speaking of changes Alison got a new cell phone since hers was fucked up. Now mine is starting to act up and shutting itself off and opening the wrong text message threads and stuff like that. Hope mine isn't ready to die too, just bought new armor for it. I'm basically rambling here so I'm gonna wrap it up. One more lil useless piece of info for the readers out there. Rockstar energy drinks 2 for $4 is a BAD thing for me. That shit is like crack to me. If my dog hadn't chewed my bank card I would be going broke buying energy drinks and attempting to overdose on them.
Saturday, August 25, 2012
The Last Goodbye
First things first. Lets get some mood music. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9tpzpul11Us
Now, this is one of the hardest things Ive had to do gaming wise. For 18 months and 5 days Ive been playing the game Conduit 2. Ive met ALOT of people on the GameFAQs board, and thru Facebook and YouTube. So many players, and so many relationships.
The C2 board to me wasn't just a place to talk and discuss the game. It was a social board, you get to know the many posters and people there and their personalities, its a weird thing to consider that so many people with differing opinions and ideals can co-exist on a well mannered board and you feel at home and respected and loved by the people around you. Ive played with so many players, but Ill give it a shot by saying my goodbyes
First off [Lost Cause] for most of you this isn't a goodbye, but a change in scenery since we have agreed to stay together as a clan and move to new games and consoles. Still tho.
Lig: One of the original four members. The friendship we forged and carried will be a long and musical one, always an intelligent opinion backed up by facts, and your ability to talk about depression and its effects had impacted me and drew me closer to you. It takes a serious kind of strength to admit certain things, and to educate others as well. I'm glad we added on Facebook.
Nightrise: One of the original four members. Your damn Shrieker! The main reason I recruited you was so I wouldn't have to battle you in clan wars against that thing! But I did always like your personality and attitude and even tho you have left the game and board for the most part. I am following you on Twitter, and intend to stay in touch.
Andy: One of my favourite members of [LC] due to the fact you are in the UK but always make time to play with me and talk to me about life and share jokes. The fact you let me into your personal life, and talked to me about certain matters only strengthens the bond we created. I look forward to pursuing the friendship and the clan activities with you for many years. Until its just you and me left as old men. Handing my C2 leadership duties to you was a no brainer, and am confident you will keep with the history of dominance and perfect record on Lost City.
augie: The only member that asked to join. You were always a joy to play with in GB settings, and your sudden departure still bothers me, not because I'm upset you left without saying anything, but because I worried something happened to you. I hope all is well in your life and respective endeavors.
Symph: I felt like I won the lottery when I recruited you, and you have been such an amazing talent to the clan, and a very laid back guy to talk to. I hope we can chat more via Skype and get to know each other in the future. You fitted right in with the other guys so well, it was almost like you were there from day 1.
Mike: Dat Carby, another member I was so impressed with I felt like I stole something. Samu5 recommended you, and I've never looked back, but your dedication to gaming and our unique style of banter when we are joking is something I'm glad Ill be able to continue to do via chat. Ill stay subscribed to your YouTube cause I do enjoy your content. I look forward to competing against you in many games for years to come, since you seem to have every game like I do.
Dash: Probably my greatest friend in the clan. You made the 'Post-Samu5' era alot of fun, and we got along based on our attitudes and interests. I intend to expand the clan with you wherever it may go. You taught me lots of things about message boards, and showed me different sides to things I had already thought I known. Was surprised you joined [LC] but had I known Id like you this much, I probably would've pointed a gun to your head until you wore the banner.
The rest of the board, whereas might not have been in my clan, but that doesn't mean they were any less important to me.
Mossy: Whats left to say? We have had it out over every topic, every discussion, every board member, and have challenged me to a fight. We are the exact same person like you said, so that's why we get along yet we butt heads in a very polite way. Your departure was understood, but still sadly received. Our level 60 match wont happen, but that's just our style anyways. I hope things with your family and health stay in good spirits and divine protection.
Punch: Wow the jokes we run with eh? We are just a couple of jokers looking for anyone to join in the fun. I sure didn't like you when I joined the board at launch, but I do appreciate all the changes you made in the game, and how you basically harassed HvS to the point of a restraining order. I think we both agree that C2 needs some work, but we both want another installment. So I intend to see you on that board.
Signal: You always seemed a lil too nice for me, but in turn you were always a lil too nice to me. I appreciate the love and kindness you showed me even throughout my villain phase on the board. I feel you understand where I was coming from and what I intended to do. You never have to worry about our friendship its pretty strong, even tho someone else is always vying for your dedication to him. Feel free to PM me for TvC, MW3, and your C2 match. Ill grant you your 1v1. Just remember, I don't care what lil kids think of me. Neither should you.
Chronic: Our smack talking could easily make a topic reach 500. You always knew it was all jokes and even if it looked like we taking it seriously we both knew we weren't. That's what makes you the best in the world in my opinion. Not just your Battle Ladder dethroning skill, but your humble bottom of the ladder attitude. I never got my rematch and my smack talking 500 topic, but I'm glad you were the one to toss me of my default throne.
Hawk: We had our differences, but we also got our friendship. Ill be readding you on Facebook if you accept, and we can stay friends for as long as it makes sense to. Also thanks for doing me the favor on my last day on the board. Do me proud.
Brennan: I'm not sure what to think of you and me, some days we get along, some days we really don't, but the fact you tossed me your email before I left shows the type of guy you are, and that suits me fine. At the end of the day we are still friends, just clash heads on opinions, but that's how she goes. We seemed to be rivals, maybe not in skill (You are better) but in attitude and the fact we were both leaders of the core clans in Clan Scene. Ill email ya soon. Also tell the rest of B05S good games, and I enjoyed playing against every player with the tag.
Khmer: Probably the most rad member on the board from the board revival era. You and Drift brought in tons of people and really revived the board, you should be proud of that, and I am honored you and Drift both drew me in C2 themed artwork. Our windshield was anti-climatic, but our clan war sure wasn't! Still the most fun me and the guys have had in a clan match. It was back and forth, and no excuses afterwards and no hard feelings, and the best part WE WON! haha. I hope ye toss me your emails or Facebooks so I can stay in touch, and tell Drift I enjoyed playing him in HC when we were mic spamming our teammate. Also tell the boys in BPB they are all great players and loved playing and talking to them all.
Derpy: I know your secret. Besides that you are like a member to [LC] to me, and hope to see you in CS:GO if you ever get the hardware. Always fun to talk to, and hope to keep seeing ya around the chat.
RonJohn: I feel proud we coined the nickname RJ (clever right?) but I feel like we single handed retrained you in C2 in the HC mode. I was super happy to see your clan finally see a clan match and to see D-S get on their feet. I hope you go undefeated for the duration of your clan matches. Tell the boys in D-S that they got serious talent and I enjoyed battling them.
OmegaShen: I'm grateful you took leadership of CMSx long enough to do clan wars against us. Even tho it took a few tries and the results were a bit mixed. It was the hardest war we have had. I hope to keep playing you in fighting games in the future, and if you get a Wii U Ill be handing you your ass in Tekken Tag 2. Until then you can hand me mine in TvC. If you get too busy in the future, good luck in the things you pursue. Tell the boys in CMSx that they are awesome guys (assuming any of em come back)
Skozo: Don't gotta say bye to you, we are friends on Facebook, and I'm glad you gave me the chance to try and help you out in life and with your Wii. Hit me up on Facebook we catch up.
Swift: You are probably my favourite guy Ive added from the board. You serve the Navy, you love hardcore music, you intend to get tattooed up like me, and you are always fun to play with and are the REAL founder of [LC] I took the name to C2, cause I didn't want to see what we started die. Now its flourishing, so get your Wii's online working and lets get some online gaming going. Got ya on FB and Twitter.
JK: List master, fellow RD user. Always a joker. There isn't anything I don't like about you. Just wish we had more games together. Hope to see you on other games.
Keith: Used to HATE playing you with that SMAW, but once you reformed and got that AR-C I was digging your style and upbeat attitude. Keep it up, and it was nice meeting you.
Krish, Gush, and Zeke: Loved playing with you guys, and always had a blast in the matches. Doubt any of you will see thing, but if you do. Know I respect and was amazed by all of you.
Kain: You took 500 from Lig. Wow. But you are a rad dude, so I'm letting that slide. Hope to see you on other boards in the future.
The rest of the board: Sorry if I lumped you into a clan goodbye or missed you, there has been hundreds of users it seems since launch and Ive played all of you. Ill remember you all even if you didn't talk to me ever or had a distinct style in game.
Rhoads: Not much to say man. We have had highs and lows, and at the end I'm not gonna be a fucking asshole about it. I hope you find what you are looking for. Have a good life, and hope things get better for you.
Last but not least Samu5: I gotta call you my greatest rival, we played together daily for over a year. The whole reason I'm as good as I am, and even have a style is cause I had to kill you. I had to be able to challenge you and gain your attention, I wanted the board to acknowledge me to the point I wasn't ignored on every topic. By gaining respect and praise from you I was able to do that. You leaving happened. If you are Silent Ninja and tried to thwart [LC] its just how our relationship has been, you have always been better, but you sure disliked Rads and Widows when I was in control of them. Even if you arnt on the board anymore, your ghost wont let some players sleep at night. That's what makes you the best. Not your skill or questionable connection, the fact you can stomp the best players, and still treat everyone with respect until the end when you had your own villain phase. I hope you come back gaming in the future until then email me whenever.
That's it for my goodbyes.
I am Mindesyn,
I am Jaye, [DM]Jaye, and [LC]Jaye.
I am the creator and supporter of Clan Scene.
I am a rad abuser, RD user, Widow/Speed user, SR user, and TPC user.
I am a Drudge,
I am a CCP player.
I am a Team Hard Core player.
I used to be called the topic killer, because any time I posted the topic would die.
I did my time on this terrible game. It has been hell some days, but some days I really love it, and Ill miss it, and it sucks to leave the game and the board, but this is the way it goes when you are a major gamer like me. I stayed playing this game because of all of you. If you are reading this you contributed to my skill, my style, my reason for posting, and my reason for leaving.
Ill finish my C2 account without posting so if you see me online feel free to play with me. I will also be on TCon from now on, maxing out that account. I have Facebook, Twitter, and YouTube. PM me if you care.
Good Bye Conduit 2
Now, this is one of the hardest things Ive had to do gaming wise. For 18 months and 5 days Ive been playing the game Conduit 2. Ive met ALOT of people on the GameFAQs board, and thru Facebook and YouTube. So many players, and so many relationships.
The C2 board to me wasn't just a place to talk and discuss the game. It was a social board, you get to know the many posters and people there and their personalities, its a weird thing to consider that so many people with differing opinions and ideals can co-exist on a well mannered board and you feel at home and respected and loved by the people around you. Ive played with so many players, but Ill give it a shot by saying my goodbyes
First off [Lost Cause] for most of you this isn't a goodbye, but a change in scenery since we have agreed to stay together as a clan and move to new games and consoles. Still tho.
Lig: One of the original four members. The friendship we forged and carried will be a long and musical one, always an intelligent opinion backed up by facts, and your ability to talk about depression and its effects had impacted me and drew me closer to you. It takes a serious kind of strength to admit certain things, and to educate others as well. I'm glad we added on Facebook.
Nightrise: One of the original four members. Your damn Shrieker! The main reason I recruited you was so I wouldn't have to battle you in clan wars against that thing! But I did always like your personality and attitude and even tho you have left the game and board for the most part. I am following you on Twitter, and intend to stay in touch.
Andy: One of my favourite members of [LC] due to the fact you are in the UK but always make time to play with me and talk to me about life and share jokes. The fact you let me into your personal life, and talked to me about certain matters only strengthens the bond we created. I look forward to pursuing the friendship and the clan activities with you for many years. Until its just you and me left as old men. Handing my C2 leadership duties to you was a no brainer, and am confident you will keep with the history of dominance and perfect record on Lost City.
augie: The only member that asked to join. You were always a joy to play with in GB settings, and your sudden departure still bothers me, not because I'm upset you left without saying anything, but because I worried something happened to you. I hope all is well in your life and respective endeavors.
Symph: I felt like I won the lottery when I recruited you, and you have been such an amazing talent to the clan, and a very laid back guy to talk to. I hope we can chat more via Skype and get to know each other in the future. You fitted right in with the other guys so well, it was almost like you were there from day 1.
Mike: Dat Carby, another member I was so impressed with I felt like I stole something. Samu5 recommended you, and I've never looked back, but your dedication to gaming and our unique style of banter when we are joking is something I'm glad Ill be able to continue to do via chat. Ill stay subscribed to your YouTube cause I do enjoy your content. I look forward to competing against you in many games for years to come, since you seem to have every game like I do.
Dash: Probably my greatest friend in the clan. You made the 'Post-Samu5' era alot of fun, and we got along based on our attitudes and interests. I intend to expand the clan with you wherever it may go. You taught me lots of things about message boards, and showed me different sides to things I had already thought I known. Was surprised you joined [LC] but had I known Id like you this much, I probably would've pointed a gun to your head until you wore the banner.
The rest of the board, whereas might not have been in my clan, but that doesn't mean they were any less important to me.
Mossy: Whats left to say? We have had it out over every topic, every discussion, every board member, and have challenged me to a fight. We are the exact same person like you said, so that's why we get along yet we butt heads in a very polite way. Your departure was understood, but still sadly received. Our level 60 match wont happen, but that's just our style anyways. I hope things with your family and health stay in good spirits and divine protection.
Punch: Wow the jokes we run with eh? We are just a couple of jokers looking for anyone to join in the fun. I sure didn't like you when I joined the board at launch, but I do appreciate all the changes you made in the game, and how you basically harassed HvS to the point of a restraining order. I think we both agree that C2 needs some work, but we both want another installment. So I intend to see you on that board.
Signal: You always seemed a lil too nice for me, but in turn you were always a lil too nice to me. I appreciate the love and kindness you showed me even throughout my villain phase on the board. I feel you understand where I was coming from and what I intended to do. You never have to worry about our friendship its pretty strong, even tho someone else is always vying for your dedication to him. Feel free to PM me for TvC, MW3, and your C2 match. Ill grant you your 1v1. Just remember, I don't care what lil kids think of me. Neither should you.
Chronic: Our smack talking could easily make a topic reach 500. You always knew it was all jokes and even if it looked like we taking it seriously we both knew we weren't. That's what makes you the best in the world in my opinion. Not just your Battle Ladder dethroning skill, but your humble bottom of the ladder attitude. I never got my rematch and my smack talking 500 topic, but I'm glad you were the one to toss me of my default throne.
Hawk: We had our differences, but we also got our friendship. Ill be readding you on Facebook if you accept, and we can stay friends for as long as it makes sense to. Also thanks for doing me the favor on my last day on the board. Do me proud.
Brennan: I'm not sure what to think of you and me, some days we get along, some days we really don't, but the fact you tossed me your email before I left shows the type of guy you are, and that suits me fine. At the end of the day we are still friends, just clash heads on opinions, but that's how she goes. We seemed to be rivals, maybe not in skill (You are better) but in attitude and the fact we were both leaders of the core clans in Clan Scene. Ill email ya soon. Also tell the rest of B05S good games, and I enjoyed playing against every player with the tag.
Khmer: Probably the most rad member on the board from the board revival era. You and Drift brought in tons of people and really revived the board, you should be proud of that, and I am honored you and Drift both drew me in C2 themed artwork. Our windshield was anti-climatic, but our clan war sure wasn't! Still the most fun me and the guys have had in a clan match. It was back and forth, and no excuses afterwards and no hard feelings, and the best part WE WON! haha. I hope ye toss me your emails or Facebooks so I can stay in touch, and tell Drift I enjoyed playing him in HC when we were mic spamming our teammate. Also tell the boys in BPB they are all great players and loved playing and talking to them all.
Derpy: I know your secret. Besides that you are like a member to [LC] to me, and hope to see you in CS:GO if you ever get the hardware. Always fun to talk to, and hope to keep seeing ya around the chat.
RonJohn: I feel proud we coined the nickname RJ (clever right?) but I feel like we single handed retrained you in C2 in the HC mode. I was super happy to see your clan finally see a clan match and to see D-S get on their feet. I hope you go undefeated for the duration of your clan matches. Tell the boys in D-S that they got serious talent and I enjoyed battling them.
OmegaShen: I'm grateful you took leadership of CMSx long enough to do clan wars against us. Even tho it took a few tries and the results were a bit mixed. It was the hardest war we have had. I hope to keep playing you in fighting games in the future, and if you get a Wii U Ill be handing you your ass in Tekken Tag 2. Until then you can hand me mine in TvC. If you get too busy in the future, good luck in the things you pursue. Tell the boys in CMSx that they are awesome guys (assuming any of em come back)
Skozo: Don't gotta say bye to you, we are friends on Facebook, and I'm glad you gave me the chance to try and help you out in life and with your Wii. Hit me up on Facebook we catch up.
Swift: You are probably my favourite guy Ive added from the board. You serve the Navy, you love hardcore music, you intend to get tattooed up like me, and you are always fun to play with and are the REAL founder of [LC] I took the name to C2, cause I didn't want to see what we started die. Now its flourishing, so get your Wii's online working and lets get some online gaming going. Got ya on FB and Twitter.
JK: List master, fellow RD user. Always a joker. There isn't anything I don't like about you. Just wish we had more games together. Hope to see you on other games.
Keith: Used to HATE playing you with that SMAW, but once you reformed and got that AR-C I was digging your style and upbeat attitude. Keep it up, and it was nice meeting you.
Krish, Gush, and Zeke: Loved playing with you guys, and always had a blast in the matches. Doubt any of you will see thing, but if you do. Know I respect and was amazed by all of you.
Kain: You took 500 from Lig. Wow. But you are a rad dude, so I'm letting that slide. Hope to see you on other boards in the future.
The rest of the board: Sorry if I lumped you into a clan goodbye or missed you, there has been hundreds of users it seems since launch and Ive played all of you. Ill remember you all even if you didn't talk to me ever or had a distinct style in game.
Rhoads: Not much to say man. We have had highs and lows, and at the end I'm not gonna be a fucking asshole about it. I hope you find what you are looking for. Have a good life, and hope things get better for you.
Last but not least Samu5: I gotta call you my greatest rival, we played together daily for over a year. The whole reason I'm as good as I am, and even have a style is cause I had to kill you. I had to be able to challenge you and gain your attention, I wanted the board to acknowledge me to the point I wasn't ignored on every topic. By gaining respect and praise from you I was able to do that. You leaving happened. If you are Silent Ninja and tried to thwart [LC] its just how our relationship has been, you have always been better, but you sure disliked Rads and Widows when I was in control of them. Even if you arnt on the board anymore, your ghost wont let some players sleep at night. That's what makes you the best. Not your skill or questionable connection, the fact you can stomp the best players, and still treat everyone with respect until the end when you had your own villain phase. I hope you come back gaming in the future until then email me whenever.
That's it for my goodbyes.
I am Mindesyn,
I am Jaye, [DM]Jaye, and [LC]Jaye.
I am the creator and supporter of Clan Scene.
I am a rad abuser, RD user, Widow/Speed user, SR user, and TPC user.
I am a Drudge,
I am a CCP player.
I am a Team Hard Core player.
I used to be called the topic killer, because any time I posted the topic would die.
I did my time on this terrible game. It has been hell some days, but some days I really love it, and Ill miss it, and it sucks to leave the game and the board, but this is the way it goes when you are a major gamer like me. I stayed playing this game because of all of you. If you are reading this you contributed to my skill, my style, my reason for posting, and my reason for leaving.
Ill finish my C2 account without posting so if you see me online feel free to play with me. I will also be on TCon from now on, maxing out that account. I have Facebook, Twitter, and YouTube. PM me if you care.
Good Bye Conduit 2
Thursday, June 7, 2012
When It Rains
Currently listening to: Demon Hunter - True Defiance Album
Currently playing: Conduit 2, Xenoblade Chronicles, Skyward Sword.
Some days are better than others. Today was just one of the days I would've bypassed if given the divine option. Work consisted of being drenched by the rain to the point that it was hard to breathe through the clothes I had on. Ever since the flood last year (Worst in 500 years they say) this area has seen enormous amounts of rain which makes my job harder and less profitable then it should be. Upon arriving home after my 10 hours of miserable rig work, I'm greeted by the guy that is going to clean my air ducts in my house. Apparently there was no air filter, and he said he pulled out excessive amounts of dirt. Boring story short. He raped me for about $600. So that was lovely, but had to be done.
The real shitty part of my day was my complete lack of skill to produce any music worthy of building off of and recording. Even going back and listening to riffs and songs I have in the works, Its not that I'm not happy with them, but they are incomplete, and since my Facebook isn't active, its hard to co-write with Luke Jay Knight from Near Ruin. Even the tones I programmed into my recording software seem sloppy and unmanageable. Its like I took two steps backwards in this Headshot the Hero project. I find myself wanting to work on Black Orpheus related stuff, but Ive been plugging the HTH brand for the last 2 years, and really want to make substantial progress and release some tracks. I dislike having a band page on Facebook and having it have nothing to show.
I dislike more, making sacrifices and changing things about myself only to be told its all for naught and they continue to act like I'm untrustworthy or suspicious. That's not important tho, it comes and goes.
Finally got back my GMC Jimmy. It has been in the hands of various mechanics since last September but its finally fixed and back, and after driving my new GMC Terrain, its hard to go back to the Jimmy, but Ill make due, and use it for work and bombing around. I'm happy to have two vehicles, but its not without its price tag. Lots of money seems to be going out of my account and not as much going in lately, so hopefully that changes.
On a slightly brighter note. I may have lost weight. I avoid stepping on a scale in fear of the number have not changed since 2-3 weeks ago.
My gaming has suffered a bit as well. I don't play as much as I used to, and am slowly shifting towards the urge to watch anime again. I feel that I have limited time to finish my Wii games before the Wii U is launched in possibly November, so I should be focusing on the 6-7 games I still have left in my library before attempting buying new games or switching gears completely. Ive had a pretty extensive 5 year Wii career with tons of PS3 and XBOX 360 titles littered among the Wii ones. Maybe I'm finally burnt out.
Thought I had more to say but I suppose its late into the night, and I'm just feeling down about my music today. Either way follow me on Twitter at demonicjaye
Currently playing: Conduit 2, Xenoblade Chronicles, Skyward Sword.
Some days are better than others. Today was just one of the days I would've bypassed if given the divine option. Work consisted of being drenched by the rain to the point that it was hard to breathe through the clothes I had on. Ever since the flood last year (Worst in 500 years they say) this area has seen enormous amounts of rain which makes my job harder and less profitable then it should be. Upon arriving home after my 10 hours of miserable rig work, I'm greeted by the guy that is going to clean my air ducts in my house. Apparently there was no air filter, and he said he pulled out excessive amounts of dirt. Boring story short. He raped me for about $600. So that was lovely, but had to be done.
The real shitty part of my day was my complete lack of skill to produce any music worthy of building off of and recording. Even going back and listening to riffs and songs I have in the works, Its not that I'm not happy with them, but they are incomplete, and since my Facebook isn't active, its hard to co-write with Luke Jay Knight from Near Ruin. Even the tones I programmed into my recording software seem sloppy and unmanageable. Its like I took two steps backwards in this Headshot the Hero project. I find myself wanting to work on Black Orpheus related stuff, but Ive been plugging the HTH brand for the last 2 years, and really want to make substantial progress and release some tracks. I dislike having a band page on Facebook and having it have nothing to show.
I dislike more, making sacrifices and changing things about myself only to be told its all for naught and they continue to act like I'm untrustworthy or suspicious. That's not important tho, it comes and goes.
Finally got back my GMC Jimmy. It has been in the hands of various mechanics since last September but its finally fixed and back, and after driving my new GMC Terrain, its hard to go back to the Jimmy, but Ill make due, and use it for work and bombing around. I'm happy to have two vehicles, but its not without its price tag. Lots of money seems to be going out of my account and not as much going in lately, so hopefully that changes.
On a slightly brighter note. I may have lost weight. I avoid stepping on a scale in fear of the number have not changed since 2-3 weeks ago.
My gaming has suffered a bit as well. I don't play as much as I used to, and am slowly shifting towards the urge to watch anime again. I feel that I have limited time to finish my Wii games before the Wii U is launched in possibly November, so I should be focusing on the 6-7 games I still have left in my library before attempting buying new games or switching gears completely. Ive had a pretty extensive 5 year Wii career with tons of PS3 and XBOX 360 titles littered among the Wii ones. Maybe I'm finally burnt out.
Thought I had more to say but I suppose its late into the night, and I'm just feeling down about my music today. Either way follow me on Twitter at demonicjaye
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
New Age or Lazy?
Currently listening to: Killin' Time by Wellspoke
Currently playing: Xenoblade Chronicles, MW3
Spent a few days up north this week with my family. Got detoxed, drank an ocean of water, and ate the odd meal. Got my neck tattoo finished, and bought a brand new 2012 GMC Terrian. Made the choice to try and make things work with Alison again, so I deleted my Facebook and am changing my cell phone number. I'm hoping this relieves her of any suspicion and jealousy which is the root of all my problems in said relationship. It seems to be an old fable that boys and girls can be just friends without sexual tension or situations arising.
I always said I would never do this again, but history has a tendency to repeat itself, even with a completely different cast, the story seems to remain the same. Perhaps this is my way of progressing the storyline. All I plan to do is work, and sit at home and play video games, and work on my music. So anyone who wants to know what I'm up to? There it is.
Having thought over all this and weighing the pros and cons, I came to wonder. Do people spend more time and effort on their Internet lives then they do their real life ones? Some people work terribly hard on their Facebooks and Facebook relationships, YouTubes, message boards etc. I understand that in some cases this is the only way to connect with loved ones or friends that are around the world, much like me and the boys in Near Ruin. Ive met a few people that were rad and interesting online, but when I met them, they were awkward and had nothing of interest to say or had no way to communicate in a real situation. I'm not like that, and I do quite well in social situations where I like the people, but if we all put as much effort into our jobs or relationships outside the Internet like we do in our Facebooks, YouTubes, Blogs etc. Maybe alot of your status updates wouldn't including being broke or being in a shitty relationship. Typing a status or tweet takes 30 seconds tops, in 30 seconds I can tell someone I love them, rub their back a little bit, or give em a kiss. If someone of you did this for your significant others as often as you update your statuses, maybe your relationships would bear some fruit.
Am I disappearing off the Internet completely? No. I still intend to YouTube, read comics, keep up with emails, blog, and use the Internet for game help and in general an information tool. I post over at GameFAQs under the name Mindesyn and am usually on the Conduit 2 board.
Perhaps I'm just an older guy. This internet social shit is for kids and teenagers. We grew up with Internet so the world is changing and simply Xing out Internet use isn't the permanent solution. We have to change on what we use the Internet for. How many workplaces suffer because people cant stop playing Mafia Wars on Facebook, or mindlessly surf YouTube? People spend more time making friendships on the Internet and for the most part take them more seriously. If I don't talk to you in real life for 6 months you don't care. If I delete you off my Facebook due to the lack of connecting or talking, you take it as a huge 'Fuck you' why is being on my Internet 'friends' list more important then having a real life friendship?
Convenience. We all want to be a part of someones life, but want no effort in doing so. This behaviour starts on the Internet and soon carries over to personal life, where we make no effort in our marriages or friendships. I don't use the Internet like that. I still go over to my friends house and play video games there, even tho its just as simple to play online from the comfort of my own home. I try to see people when time affords me, even tho most people always talk about getting together, but when the occasion arises they seem to not want any part of the idea.
Not to mention the Internet is educating your children instead of you. Its not an ideal curriculum. Net nanny isn't the answer. Spending time with your kids is. But this point doesn't matter.
Point is I've endured alot of stress and bullshit over the internet, that I could've easily had avoided if I just focused on the people beside me. Im a mild case. I know some people that the best way to get ahold of them is to login to Facebook or Tweet them. They won't answer texts or phone calls, but always are on social networking sites, and for all I know that's all they really are.
If you are offended I deleted my Facebook in order to focus on my relationship and improve it because it needs it? Go fuck yourself. I got email, YouTube, GameFAQ account, a Twitter, and this blog. If that doesn't work for you, maybe you should try harder if you want me as your friend.
Add me on YouTube or GameFAQs under 'Mindesyn' Follow me on Twitter @demonicjaye or just read this fucking blog if all that is too much effort.
Tuesday, May 1, 2012
Glory Fading Reclaimed
Currently listening to: Rewind (feat. None Like Joshua & Dani) - Fracx
Currently playing: Conduit 2, Klonoa, Xenoblade Chronicles
This past weekend I spent in Regina I realized something. I'm overweight. According to the BMI chart at the doctors office I stopped at, I'm in the "morbidly obese" column, I know these charts don't account for muscle mass, which I have plenty of, but not enough to justify myself as healthy. I weigh 210 lbs and am 5'8. I ate way too much food in the capital and lazed around my hotel room and took cabs everywhere I went (mostly on account of the rain and heavy wind combo mother nature graced me with) but still. I felt like complete and utter shit, hard breathing, and completely bloated left me with both depression and motivation.
I'm not a stranger to exercise and diet, I fluctuate weight more than anyone I know, not even two years ago I was 168 lbs, and very well toned. I trained for Muay Thai, MMA, and just generally overall good health. Now I own a Bowflex that collects dust, a heavy bag that has been on my basement floor since moving it in favour of my drums, dogs that need to be ran, tons of supplements including whey protein, creatine, multivitamins, and fat burners that sit on the shelf, and I also have friends who will train with me and work on boxing and weights. I have everything I need to get in shape and get healthy.
I don't lack motivation or ambition for the most part. Its half in part to my lifestyle. Work keeps my hours full and on my days off I don't want to get into a workout session. The other half is the diet aspect. Carnduff is set-up for the go-go oil patch. Convenience stores are filled with quick food like pizza, fried chicken, hamburgers, hot dogs, and tons of other snacks and drinks. After a long day I don't want to cook some chicken and have some fruit. I want some fried chicken and a Rockstar. I want to sit down and play video games or watch TV.
So whats the point of all this? Usually I start a workout regime, workout for 1-2 weeks, then have a busy day, skip a workout, skip two, eat some junk...and back to the unhealthy diet and lifestyle that caused my weight gain. I laugh at those TV shows where people are "morbidly obese" and always thought "How did you ever get that fucking fat?" I can tell you, you don't notice. I suppose some people blame genetics, but I cant. My sister and my mother are in amazing shape, and even my old man with his less than healthy eating habits and smoking is still in decent shape for his years. My mom is over 50 and puts women half her age to shame. All she does is eat well and cardio and some weights, shes not hardcore or a fitness guru, just an average person who took an interest in her health. I don't want to let this weight pile up and suddenly I'm on TV for all of you to mock and watch me struggle to do the basic workouts. Am I being dramatic? Perhaps a tad, but had these people been harder on themselves they wouldn't be 300 lbs and suing fast food companies for making them fat.
I'm taking a week to go up north to my parents place its the perfect place to get in the healthy eating mood. They eat pretty healthy, not alot of junk for me to eat, and its got the workout room I need to get a quick little jump on my exercise regime, even walking the treadmill will help out. I'm getting a tattoo on Wednesday and that will hinder my workouts, but not my diet.
After I heal up tho, I'm gonna get back into the Kick boxing training style of lifestyle I used to engage in. I might lose time on video games, and not as much time for music and my projects, but health at my age has to come first.
Either way I suppose this was just me talking out loud opposed to having any real point or purpose. Ill be updating this space with hopefully some weight loss points.
Add me on Facebook or follow me on Twitter @demonicjaye
Currently playing: Conduit 2, Klonoa, Xenoblade Chronicles
This past weekend I spent in Regina I realized something. I'm overweight. According to the BMI chart at the doctors office I stopped at, I'm in the "morbidly obese" column, I know these charts don't account for muscle mass, which I have plenty of, but not enough to justify myself as healthy. I weigh 210 lbs and am 5'8. I ate way too much food in the capital and lazed around my hotel room and took cabs everywhere I went (mostly on account of the rain and heavy wind combo mother nature graced me with) but still. I felt like complete and utter shit, hard breathing, and completely bloated left me with both depression and motivation.
I'm not a stranger to exercise and diet, I fluctuate weight more than anyone I know, not even two years ago I was 168 lbs, and very well toned. I trained for Muay Thai, MMA, and just generally overall good health. Now I own a Bowflex that collects dust, a heavy bag that has been on my basement floor since moving it in favour of my drums, dogs that need to be ran, tons of supplements including whey protein, creatine, multivitamins, and fat burners that sit on the shelf, and I also have friends who will train with me and work on boxing and weights. I have everything I need to get in shape and get healthy.
I don't lack motivation or ambition for the most part. Its half in part to my lifestyle. Work keeps my hours full and on my days off I don't want to get into a workout session. The other half is the diet aspect. Carnduff is set-up for the go-go oil patch. Convenience stores are filled with quick food like pizza, fried chicken, hamburgers, hot dogs, and tons of other snacks and drinks. After a long day I don't want to cook some chicken and have some fruit. I want some fried chicken and a Rockstar. I want to sit down and play video games or watch TV.
So whats the point of all this? Usually I start a workout regime, workout for 1-2 weeks, then have a busy day, skip a workout, skip two, eat some junk...and back to the unhealthy diet and lifestyle that caused my weight gain. I laugh at those TV shows where people are "morbidly obese" and always thought "How did you ever get that fucking fat?" I can tell you, you don't notice. I suppose some people blame genetics, but I cant. My sister and my mother are in amazing shape, and even my old man with his less than healthy eating habits and smoking is still in decent shape for his years. My mom is over 50 and puts women half her age to shame. All she does is eat well and cardio and some weights, shes not hardcore or a fitness guru, just an average person who took an interest in her health. I don't want to let this weight pile up and suddenly I'm on TV for all of you to mock and watch me struggle to do the basic workouts. Am I being dramatic? Perhaps a tad, but had these people been harder on themselves they wouldn't be 300 lbs and suing fast food companies for making them fat.
I'm taking a week to go up north to my parents place its the perfect place to get in the healthy eating mood. They eat pretty healthy, not alot of junk for me to eat, and its got the workout room I need to get a quick little jump on my exercise regime, even walking the treadmill will help out. I'm getting a tattoo on Wednesday and that will hinder my workouts, but not my diet.
After I heal up tho, I'm gonna get back into the Kick boxing training style of lifestyle I used to engage in. I might lose time on video games, and not as much time for music and my projects, but health at my age has to come first.
Either way I suppose this was just me talking out loud opposed to having any real point or purpose. Ill be updating this space with hopefully some weight loss points.
Add me on Facebook or follow me on Twitter @demonicjaye
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